Aisha x The Cantik Coalition Part 2



What advice can you give to young girls who are constantly/comparing themselves to instagram models/influencers? 

It’s funny how people think ‘gamers’ are nerds, those people who play World of Warcraft or SIMS or any online gaming world, that they live in unrealistic worlds.... When I see Instagram, I see a virtual online reality consisting of our deepest desires and burning insecurities. I see a place where a lot of us want to escape for just a moment of our day. It’s very easy to get lost in a world where it preys on your wishes, especially when you wish to be anything but who you are or where you are. I’d say to young girls to remember that Instagram is no different to that online gaming world many people make of fun and call ‘fake’ or ‘fantasy’. I’d remind them that everyone feels the way they do, everyone wants to portray themselves a certain way, it’s why we use make up, it’s why we change clothes like seasons, it’s why we work so hard to change our body shape. Instagram is just an extension of this, where we can capture and caption a moment of our life and ‘upgrade’ that moment as much as we like, or moreso, we feel the need to

Remember when he whispered for the first time he loved you, when your mum cried on your shoulder because she was overwhelmed or when you and your best friend couldn’t stop giggling over some funny meme …did you stop to take a photo? I’m guessing no, because you were too busy feeling and living. Remember that.

How do you get motivated if you’re ever a bit down/tired? 

I can be very lazy, so it’s hard for me, especially in winter! I might as well be a bear with my hibernation skills. If I’m tired or down I do Bikram yoga as the mental challenge to even get to class, let alone exercise makes me feel better. Already when I’m in the room I feel better about myself. Also surrounding myself with my friends that are inspirational and strong and kind, make me want to be better. 



What book do you think every woman should read? 

Definitely Brene Brown’s, Daring Greatly.  If you don’t know her, watch her TED talk on youtube. 

Weird fact about you/something we wouldn’t know from your Instagram: 

I’m a massive anime fan and love medieval history, I’d love to do LARP. (live action role play). An amazing anime production studio called Studio Ghibli have produced some of the most beautiful and politically impressive pieces. I love the story of Princess Mononoke, about man vs. the environment. 

Describe your perfect day: 

It’s a day where time doesn’t exist, like in Bali, so you can go slow. I’d love to naturally wake up to the sound of the ocean. I’d make myself breakfast in bed, with a delicious cup of coffee. I’d have a morning cleanse in the ocean, followed by laying in the sunshine with a good book. The rest of the day would be filled with lots of giggle with my friends, some go karting or horse riding, followed by a long late lunch with an endless supply of drinks. We’d then watch the sunset over the ocean and light a fire and roast marshmallows and sing and play music. We’d lay under the stars and make wishes and talk about our wildest dreams. I’d then drift off to the sound of the ocean and dream about being married to Harry Styles…

Who do you look up to as a mentor? 


I’d say any strong but kind woman or man, for they are what we need in this world. 
In particular, my beautiful Mak (mother in Malaysian) who overcame religious adversity and very poor humble beginnings to raise five children, marry her childhood sweetheart, the man she was forbidden to love, and get a teaching degree at 40 with limited English skills. Throughout my whole life my mother has shown nothing but strength and kindness to us and the strangers around her. She struggled and doubted herself and at times didn’t know how she was going to work two jobs, go to university, be a wife and mother, and provide us children with all the opportunities she never got. She had to accept her children choosing not to follow the same religious faith she was brought up on. My mak was strong enough to let us make our own choices, find our own way in the world, even though it upset her, and for that I will forever be grateful. When I feel inadequate, I think of her and the integrity, the determination and the kindness she displayed to achieve all her dreams, and how she’s never once doubted I will reach mine. She is my mentor and best friend.  

Finally, Cantik means “beautiful”, what is beautiful to you? 

Beauty is the way in which you hold yourself, how you see the world and treat those around you. It’s how you treat yourself. It’s being selfless and kind but still allowing your light to shine because it inspires other to. It’s being completely vulnerable even though it terrifies you. It’s being smart, it’s being compassionate and it’s being ambitious. Beauty to me has always been soul deep rather than skin deep. 

Be kind. Always. Love Aish x

Follow @aishajefcoate 

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