I have been subscribed to "Notes From The Universe" email list for about the past 10 years. You would be amazed by how they resonate with you at the right time. Recently an email landed in my inbox that reminded me of someone very dear to me... It was then apparent who I wanted to feature next for The Cantik Coalition.
"Feeling incomplete does not make you so. It's how legends are born, giants are made, and history is written. It's why you're here. To ever so briefly escape your true identity as you live with an unquenchable thirst that will lead you into adventures of grandeur and a realisation that love is all there is."
The first time I met Aisha was at the villa she was sharing with some mutual friends of ours in Seminyak, Bali (this was in 2013). I had just burned my leg on the exhaust of a motorbike and was taken to the villa to ice my leg (and sip straight vodka in a futile attempt to dull the pain).
Aisha was snuggled on the couch (probably watching a Disney film) dressed in a matching (and dare I say, daggy) flannelette pyjama set. I couldn't get over how real and infectiously kind this person was. We have been dear friends ever since.
Aisha has the looks so many girls aspire to have. Aisha is an Aussie with Kiwi & Malaysian roots giving her those beautiful dark features and enviable complexion. Aisha always wanted to be blonde and blue-eyed growing up.
Aisha opened up to us about insecurities as well as struggles past and present. She is a true angel amongst us.
Name: Aisha Adenin Jefcoate
Hometown: Geraldton, Western Australia
What do you do for a career?
I’m a Publicity Coordinator at Foxtel. My job is dynamic, requires a high level of adaptability and is incredibly exciting.
What has been one of your hardest moments or challenges?
I know that seems like an ambiguous and largely vague answer but honestly from the heart, letting go is and has always been the most challenging obstacle for me. Letting go of friendships, of love, and largely for me and most people, of expectations...
Letting go requires saying goodbye to someone or some notion that you had invested yourself in, and any ending, no matter how beneficial it may be, is difficult. Letting go means change, which is scary at first but usually always has the most soul-enriching result. I guess letting go is a culmination of endings, whether it be of negative energy or to things that don’t serve you on a higher purpose, or just the expectations you have for yourself which are the harshest. I tend to focus on the endings, rather than the beginnings. I like to think I can always salvage the situation, ‘save’ someone or something, but sometimes you need to save yourself.
I struggle with this daily, but I have learnt to focus on the first step which is acceptance. Hopefully, in time, I’ll be an open vessel.
What is something you do to nurture yourself?
Nurturing myself is something I also struggle with. I talk a lot about self-love on my Instagram and to my friends. I try to empower them and send them positive quotes, yet don’t give myself the same love or kindness I so willingly give to them and even strangers. I guess that’s my form of nurturing myself, is giving myself to people. Making them feel better because it feels like I’ve achieved something that’s tangible and something my soul honours.
When I’m really struggling with social anxiety I usually have a glass of red wine at home which calms me. Lately, though I’ve been immersing myself in something familiar that I love, whether it be my most read book or a movie that I know makes me feel good or even a good sad movie that gives me ‘company’ in my loneliness. A good cry during a movie also helps me. Oh and an app called ‘Insight Timer’ which has a whole bunch of free meditations, for sleep to anxiety to self-love to depression. It is amazing.
What advice would you give to 18-year-old Aisha?’
Poor 18-year-old Aisha was so weighed down with expectations and plans and this urgency to prove herself. To validate herself and her self-worth that she closed herself off from the world in her pursuit. I’d tell her that she was kind, and had the kind of spirit that made others around her feel warm and comfortable. That being nice DOES get you far. That being different is what makes her so special. That her heritage, looks, intelligence and upbringing allowed her to be an incredibly kind and compassionate person. That the world is a beautiful and harsh place, but to never ever dull her sparkle, to never stop pushing herself, to never think any dream is out of reach. I would tell 18-year-old Aisha that all her insecurities were in her own head and that she was wholeheartedly beautiful and that is all she needs to succeed. Everything else is just a distraction and blocking her from her real potential. Most importantly I’d tell her that love is an incredibly beautiful gift that you need to give yourself FIRST.
Part 2 of Aisha's interview coming soon...